The Glen Beck of TV = The Human Wrecking Balls

The leaves are crisp and dead on the ground, winter's chilly visage is just around the bend, and the Packers are disappointing, then it must be the time of year where I slowly get caught up on Top Chef, my achilles heel when it comes to reality TV. As sort of a warm up I went on Hulu and watched and old episode from last season. Brought back fond memories, made me hungry and remorseful that I really only cook on my George Foreman, reinstated my crush on Jamie. But then I saw this.

Before I get into that---

I was already reading today about how Glen Beck is becoming an idiom in his own right, (i.e. The Glen Beck of culinary arts = Guy Fieri, or the Glen Beck of music = Toby Keith ( Further, I must share with you this little quote from the Bio of Toby Kieth on the CMT.com website:

That all changed in 2002 when he recorded "Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (The Angry American)," a response to September 11 that became one of country's most highly charged political statements since Merle Haggard's "Okie from Muskogee""

"Okie From Muskogee" is a fucking satire, and Merle Haggard admitted he wrote it as such, and jesus, you think that's a charged political statement? Putting one's boot in someone's ass? "Boy, that ol' Mahmud Ahmadinejad , I'm gonna give that sawn bitch a knuckle sandwich to show him what for." There's my highly charged political statement, CMT, give me my Country Music Award. Now. I want it right fucking now. )) and how in some cases it may not be fair because Mr. Beck is such a giant pile of crudely plucked ass hair who should only be compared to, well, a giant pile of etc... Guy Fieri was quoted as being "a very nice guy in person" and "charming", but that's not Mr. Beck's m.o.; it's appealing to the lowest common denominator, the people who want chicken little stories with clear binary problems and solutions. Nothing new, I know. But I really think it's an award (no CMA, to be sure) to become part of this new colloquialism.

Therefore I, Jeremy Dana Larson, in accordance with the international "Cause I'm Right, That's Why, Sir" social critique 'festo, hereby declare The Glen Beck of TV to be "The Human Wrecking Balls"And I'm aware of the redundancy.

Now, that link to the preview and a couple short videos on Youtube is all I saw, because I didn't want to write this and seem uninformed. But now that I am informed, I can safely say this is the dumbest, basest, most ignorant thing on TV. And while a little part of me wanted to watch, the majority of me knew that these two brothers (who used the phrases "Get some" and "This is the rockstar dream, baby!" ) are representing something that is truly depressing. Someone at G4 (men's answer to Lifetime, another equally appalling and sexist channel of truly horrible programming) had to greenlight this, knowing that there's a gathering of people who would just love to watch goateed, bleached hair, giant men smashing things with their bodies.

I'd extrapolate more, but it's almost too easy to follow this to the inevitable punchline. Congratulations, the brothers Pumphrey, you win.

Until later, just remember, white lightning's still the biggest thrill of all.